Black History 365: An Inclusive Account of American History
BH365 is a "'truthcentric,’ non-partisan and comprehensive solution to the History education gap in American schools.” It gives adults and children opportunities to develop and enhance socio-emotionally with America’s most emotionally charged issue as context. This book offers healing to a nation.
BH365, written by Drs. Walter Milton, Jr. and Joel Freeman, is a 5-pound, 1248-page textbook available in hardcopy and digital formats.
When I first heard about Joel Freeman, it was during his book launch of Black History 365: An Inclusive Account of American History. (BH365) I ordered the book, opened it and found a treasure trove.
Contemporary Education Does Society Harm.
American History has been taught in a way that exacerbates the race problems in the country. Origins of those problem can be found in the US Constitution and there are United States Supreme Court decisions that perpetuated the problem. Dred Scott v Sandford, 60 US 393 (1857) denied citizenship to all blacks so that they would not have the right to bear arms. US v Cruikshank, 92 US 542 (1875) denied blacks recompense when whites killed and destroyed the property of blacks (this set the stage for lynchings with impunity, voter suppressions and massacres). In addition, The federal government forbade whites from selling property to blacks in what are called restrictive covenants. Real estate brokers were complicit in the scheme showing blacks and immigrants properties in hazardous locations and offering mortgage at higher rates than white for less funds, respectively. There is so much more I could share with you, but I’ll stop here.
Why America is Lost.
Leaders are expected to unite us, especially during times of crisis.
There’s a saying, “If you don't know your history, you're doomed to repeat it.” That’s America’s problem today: reconstruction; Jim Crow; Jim Crow 2.0. How many of those instigating and contributing to these problems know the truth about American history?
Why Children Need to Know the Truth.
When we teach them the truth they learn to appreciate the truth, us, and it helps them to develop critical thinking skills based in fact. We need to allow children to use their intelligence and trust that they're going to make good decisions. We also need to overcome the fear of facing the truth about American history ourselves, so that we may assist children in doing the same. We are in this boat together; facing our fears helps us to become our best selves.
BH365 Creates a Safe Space to Make This Happen.
BH365 is a "'truthcentric,’ non-partisan and comprehensive solution to the History
education gap in American schools.” It gives adults and children opportunities to develop and enhance socio-emotionally with America’s most emotionally charged issue as context. This book offers healing to a nation.
In addition to giving an inclusive account to American history, the purpose of when they were kids this says thanks for your support of BH365 is to provide “a solution to the education gap in America, specifically designed for public, charter, private and home schools across America, yet it also engages all ages and that's where this project helps develop.”
BH365 Helps Children Develop Executive Skills.
BH365 took 2 1/2 year to complete after authors, Drs. Joel Freeman and Walter Milton, Jr. worked 12-16 hours day to produce this “1248 page love letter to the world.” The textbook is designed so that “ all readers to become:
critical thinkers;
compassionate listeners;
fact-based respectful communicators;
action-oriented solutions.”
In addition to critical thinking skills, other executive skills this book helps children develop are teamwork, adaptability, problem solving, self-control, and intentional interaction. Note that executive skills are most important for success in life.
BH365 is American History.
BH365 contains ten units:
How Africa Got its Name;
The Transatlantic Slave Trade;
The American System and The Forming Thereof;
The Emancipation and Reconstruction;
The Great Immigration and Its Aftermath;
Civil Rights and American Justice
The Economic System;
Black Culture and Influence;
50 Stars: the impact of black Americans on every state
The North Star a Guide to Freedom and Opportunity in Canada.
BH365 is rich with vibrant pictures, thousands of QR codes, and it has a theme song, too! This “love letter” to the world is indeed a gift that will keep on giving for centuries to come.
Learn more about BH365 in this video.
Successful Parenting
Parents hope and dream of their children ‘s success. The key to their success is nurturing them to become the people they are meant to be.
Introduction
I just wanted to prepare children for success and fulfillment by guiding them based on their readiness. How I got discouraged from teaching is not the point of this story. Let’s just say that this was a pre-school set in the low-income neighborhood of El Barrio where I grew up, and was more concerned about federal funding than it was about giving the children the advantages they would need to have successful and fulfilling lives.
I went to law school for the options a law degree could give me. I’d sit in class wondering how I could teach the the concepts I was learning at various grade levels beginning with preschool. After law school, I found myself teaching preschool again. This time I was in an environment that suited my values in its approach to teaching. This school catered to children from upper-middle class families. There were, however, stark differences between this school and the one in El Barrio; I consider myself privileged to have taught at both.
After:
earning an undergraduate degree in child development with concentrations on psychology and sociology,;
serving over 25,000 parents, over 10,000 children directly;
clocking over 25,000 teaching hours with an average of 30 children per teaching hour;
teaching all levels of education from preschool to college;
working as a government attorney;
volunteering time working with special education students;
serving as a community leader, this is what I learned.
My Observations
The parents in El Barrio, and neighborhoods like it, I would later learn, sat at the opposite end of the guilt spectrum from upper-middle class parents. Both showered their children with materialism:
one out of a need shield their children from want, although they could barely spare it;
the other comfortably drew on discretionary income to make up for time spent away at work.
When I decided to practice law, I work in what is known as “poor law.” Poor law involves families that usually cannot afford lawyers: the family courts, housing courts, and in special education. My experiences as an educator, government attorney and civic leader gave me insight into how education systems, government policy and civic engagement impact parents and children. They also gave me insight into various parenting styles.
Certain parenting styles are causing problems for children and are limiting their ability to grow into themselves. Parents naturally want the best for their children and spend a lot time worrying about heir children's lives, education, and upbringing. Some parents feel that a child can't succeed if they aren't involved in their lives, others don’t seem to consider it.
Children left to their own devices without adequate parental supervision are at risk of entering the school-to-prison pipeline. Those that escape this route tend to develop certain characteristics that destined them for success. They are the ones who were fortunate to meet caring adults along the way that gave them a hand They are the fortunate to a certain extent.
At the other end of the spectrum, are the parents who want to ensure that the children are successful by preventing every possible happening and supervising every detail. These are the children with a check-listed childhood. Parents, naturally, want to make sure their children are safe, healthy, fed, and watered, but take it to the extreme. They make sure their children go to the correct schools and get the right grades. Not just the grades, not just scores.
They also want to see the accolades, awards, participation, leadership. They are told to start a club because that’s what colleges want to see. Check the box to do community service. Show colleges that you care about others. All of this is accomplished to a desired level of perfection. These are the children who are expected to perform at a level that is beyond their ability. These are the children who parents push, coax, hint, help, haggling and nagging to make sure they don't screw up, close doors, ruin their future or get denied admission to some college. Here's how it feels to be a child in this unchecked childhood.
The Negative Impact
There is no free time. There is no time for play in the afternoons. Everything must be educational, something my own father believed, but I digress. They think that every bit of homework, quiz, and activity are a key to the future they envision for them. We absolve them from helping around the house (not me) and even getting enough sleep, as long as they check off their checklist. Parents say that they want their children to have happy childhoods. But when they get home from school, the first thing they are met with when they return home from school are questions about their grades and homework. They see that their parents approve of them, that their parents love, that their very worth, is from A's. They don't ask what they might be interested in as an activity or studying when they reach high school.
Counselors are called and they tell them, "What should I do to get into the right college?" When the high school grades begin to pile up, and they get some B's or worse, some C's in high school, they text their friends and ask, "Has anyone ever been accepted into the right college?" These children are breathless, no matter where they end up in high school. They are fragile. They are a bit burned out. They feel a bit old and regretful. They're now suffering from high levels of anxiety and depression, and many are asking themselves if this life was worth it. On the other hand, parents think it's worth it. It's almost as if they think that their children have no future if they do not get into the small number of colleges and careers that parents have in their sights for their children.
The Unintended Consequences
The message children are getting is that their worth is determined by their grades and scores. They also get the message that their parents don't think that they can achieve any of these things without them. This behavior negatively impacts children because they are being deprived of self-efficacy. This is a fundamental human trait that is far more important than the self-esteem we get from applauding. Self-efficacy can be achieved when one realizes that one's actions have an effect on outcomes. Self-efficacy is what our children must develop if they want to be successful. They have to do more thinking, planning and deciding, doing, doing, hoping and coping, trial and errors, dreaming, and experiencing life for themselves.
This is not to say that all children are motivated, hardworking, and independent and don't require parental involvement. Far from it. Viewing grades, scores, accolades, and awards as the purpose and goal of childhood, it is too narrow for our children to consider success. In fact, it could undermine success and certainly their happiness and sense of fulfillment. Even though they may be able to help them get better grades if they help with homework, or they might have a longer childhood resume if they help. But all of this is at the expense of their self-esteem in the long-term.
As Tony Robbins reminds us, Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.” I add that that failure begins in the home. I further add that parents do what they think is best, and that is commendable. No parent, I believe, sets out to set their children up for miserable childhoods. It’s never too late to course correct with learning how to apply they right tools to guide their children on the path to successful and fulfilling lives.
Parents, worry less about which college they can apply to or get into, and more about whether they have the right mindset, skills, and wellness to succeed wherever they go. It really isn’t about where they go to school, but whether they thrive here they choose to go and what they do with their degrees afterwards. Children need parents who more interested in providing a foundation for success based on love and chores. Here's the reason.
The Harvard Grant Study
Harvard University Campus
The Harvard Grant Study is the longest-running longitudinal study of human beings. It found that professional success in life, which is what parents want for their children, that professional success in life comes from having done chores as a children, and the earlier they start, the better, that a roll-up-your-sleeves- and-pitch-in mindset, a mindset that says, there's some unpleasant work, someone's got to do it, it might as well be me, a mindset that says, I will contribute my effort to the betterment of the whole, that that's what gets you ahead in the workplace.
This is something we all know. Absolving your children of the chores around the home does not serve then well in the long run. They’ll become young adults at work, still waiting for a check list, but lacking the ability to look around and ask, "How can I help my colleagues?" How can I be a step ahead of my boss?
The Harvard Grant Study also revealed that happiness is not based on love of work. It's a love of people: our spouses, partners, friends, and families. Children must learn how to love. They can't love other people if they don’t love themselves first. And they won't be able to love themselves unconditionally if they don’t love their parents. That's right. Instead of obsessing about grades and scores when your children come home from school or work, close our devices, turn off your phones, and face your children.
Let them see the joy in your eyes when they see you for the first time in a few days. Then, ask your children, "How was your day?" What was your favorite thing about today? Your teenage daughter may say, "Lunch" but you want to hear about the math test. You still have to be interested in lunch. You have to say, "What was so great about lunch today?" They should know that they are important to you as people, and not just because of their GPA.
The colleges want top grades, accolades, awards, top scores, and grades. But here's the good news:. Contrary to what the college rankings racket would like us to believe, you don't need to attend the most prestigious school to be happy and prosperous in your life. People who are happy and successful went to school in the state, to small colleges that no one knows about, and to community college. This is the truth. The proof is here, in your communities. Open your eyes and look at more schools, and maybe get rid of your egos, then you’d be able to accept this truth.
Conclusion
All won’t be lost if your children don't attend one of these big-name schools. Even more important, if they have not lived their childhood according to a rigid checklist, then they will be able to go to college on their own, motivated by their own desires, and capable of thriving there. Children are like wildflowers of unknown species and genus. Create a nurturing environment for them, give them chores, and love them so that they can love others, and get love. Help them be their best selves, not to make them into what you want them to become.
How to Help Your Children Build Superior Language Skills
Language skills are important not only for academic success, but also to your child's future. For example, strong communications can help them to manage their emotions, develop healthy relationships, and succeed professionally.
As a parent, you can accelerate and enhance Your children’s verbal development by the way you interact with them. Many studies show that talking and reading with your children extensively from an early age helps them to increase their vocabulary and other verbal abilities. Although reading the same story to them over and over might drive you crazy, your children are leaning an d remembering new words and their minds are developing readiness for reading.
To give your sons and daughters a head start, follow these practical tips full of simple and fun activities that will help your child to speak and write more effectively. Use these 14 tips asa guide or to give you new ideas.
Tips for Talking with Your Child
1. Sing and dance.
Children enjoy sounds and movement. Music also makes lessons more memorable and demonstrates the rhythm of language. Focus on repetitive lyrics and funny tunes. Movement, music and repetition helps them learn.
2. Share stories.
Make up stories for your children and invite them to create their own tales. Personalize your works by using the names of family members and other familiar information. Create books with them based on those stories. This will help develop their reading and writing skills.
3. Ask questions.
Children learn by asking questions, and answering them can help too. Use open-ended inquiries that will stimulate conversation.
4. Play word games.
Make learning fun with puzzles, puns, and riddles. Show how words that sound the same can have different meanings. Laugh about silly noises like ducks quacking and balloons popping.
5. Discuss routine activities.
Turn household chores and errands into teachable moments. Describe what you're doing as you bake a cake or go shopping for school supplies. Allowing them to take part in baking teaches them math and science. Shopping provides an opportunity to comparison shop, learn math, and introduce them to commerce.
6. Follow their lead.
Give your child your full attention when they're talking to you. Build on what they're saying. Ask them how they feel about various situations. Doing this teaches them to get in touch with their feelings. It also gives you an opportunity to show them how to process those feelings and understand them.
Tips for Reading with Your Child
1.Create a home library.
Fill your home with attractive and enriching books and other reading material. Design an inviting reading nook like a table covered with blankets to look like a fort or a stack of soft pillows on the floor.
2. Encourage their interests.
Pick books about your child's favorite subjects. Maybe they're wild about horses or robots.
3. Expand their vocabulary.
Teach your child new words. Sound them out together and use them in a sentence.
4. Take turns.
As your child grows older, they can start reading to you sometimes. Even when they're small, they can point out pictures and describe them.
Other Tips
1. Give gentle feedback.
Children are bound to make some interesting guesses as they're learning about pronunciation and grammar. To guide them without discouraging them, try repeating back the corrected version of what they said while praising them for their efforts.
2. Plan field trips.
Bring language to life by visiting places where your children can see what they're learning about. Attend special exhibitions at art and science museums and check the calendars for hands-on family activities. Visit amusement parks, state fairs, and toy stores.
3. Limit electronics.
Many experts recommend no screen time for children under 2, and limited hours at any age. While some educational programming can be beneficial, interacting face-to-face- with your child builds language skills more effectively than passively watching TV.
4. See your pediatrician.
Language skills can be affected by other events in your child's life. For example, they may regress to baby talk during challenging transitions like starting kindergarten or adjusting to a divorce. Talk with your pediatrician if you have any concerns.
Help your child to succeed in school and beyond by teaching them how to express themselves and understand others. Spending time talking and reading with your child draws you closer together while you encourage their growth and development.
Learn more about helping your children build language skills here.
6 Surprising Benefits of Stress
Stress can force you to reevaluate deadlines.
While interning at an outpatient parent and child education program in a psychiatric hospital, I met women who were overwhelmed by the stress of managing their lives and caring for their children. While the program provided holistic services for the mothers, my primary assignment was to work with the children.
Although I was not privy to all their stories, I knew that some faced less severe issues than others. I also knew that, as outpatients, they were higher functioning with limited resources. The skills they learned to help them cope with stress are those that you might take for granted.
Unlike chronic stress, when you experience acute stress (less than 6 months), you have an opportunity to use it to your advantage and make it beneficial for you. Here’s how some limited instances of short-term stress can be useful.
Consider these benefits of Short-Term Stress
1. Stress can help the brain.
A study, titled "Acute stress enhances adult rat hippocampal neurogenesis and activation of newborn neurons via secreted astrocytic FGF2," found that stress had an interesting impact on the brains of rats.
* Researchers found that stress can make neural connections stronger and help memory. This applies to short-term stress and not long-term or severe stress.
* The study also found that short-term stress can help push the brain to an optimal condition. This means that the brain is forced to focus better and reach its highest potential.
* During the study, the rats' brains improved because stem cells made new nerve cells. Scientists believe the same thing is happening in human brains under stress.
2. Stress can provide motivation.
Stress can force you to reevaluate deadlines and motivate you to take action to finish things on time.
* A looming deadline can make you stressed, but it can also force you to take charge of the situation. This provides the motivation to stop procrastinating and complete what is needed.
3. Stress can fortify resilience.
It can make you more flexible and understanding.
* The idea that stress can make you stronger is true. Researchers believe that surviving short-term stress helps build emotional and mental resources.
4. Stress can improve your immune system.
A study, titled "Stress-induced redistribution of immune cells - from barracks to boulevards to battlefields: a tale of three hormones," found that stress can actually help the immune system. Short-term stress can make immune cells jump into action.
* The immune system responds to stress by going into active mode. Researchers believe this developed over time to protect humans. Evolution allowed people to stay strong and healthy under stress.
5. Stress can serve as a signal.
If you feel your body and mind are under stress, then it's time to evaluate your life. Stress can be an indication that you need to slow down or make changes. It can be a warning before serious health or life issues arise.
* If you feel you're under constant pressure, take the time to reflect on your concerns about friends, family, work, and other obligations. Your stress could be telling you that some things may need to be adjusted, so you're not overwhelmed.
6. Stress can strengthen your relationships.
Stress makes the body release oxytocin, a hormone, which can help you feel more connected to others.
* The hormone makes you feel like bonding with others and sharing your burdens. This can help you build stronger relationships with those you love. It can encourage you to share your troubles instead of letting them consume you.
There's no doubt that living under constant, extreme stress is harmful. However, short-term stress has benefits. It can advantageously affect your body and mind in a variety of ways ranging from motivation to brain activity.
The 10 Most Common Symptoms of PTSD
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is a common condition.
Introduction
In undergraduate school, I studied child development. The process of child development is universal. The adults and the cultures are what make a difference in the lives of children. During my human rights studies, I focused on education in emergencies. That is where I learned that children fleeing armed conflict suffered trauma similar to children growing up in violent urban communities.
In both cases, the children have reached the final process of GAS: General Adaptation Syndrome. GAS the three-stage process that the body undergoes when stressed. These stages are:
1. The Alarm Stage is the fight-or-flight response;
2. The Resistance Stage your body continues to secrete stress hormones and your blood pressure remains elevated;
3. The Exhaustion Stage which is the result of chronic stress (6 months or more).
Chronic stress has a debilitating effect on the body and, after more than a year of navigating a pandemic, all children are dealing with COVID-induced trauma.
Furthermore, PTSD is found in people that have suffered a significant traumatic event in the past. This can range from childhood bullying, rape, child abuse, war, law enforcement, or any other terrifying or violent event. Today, the COVID-19 Pandemic is a significant traumatic event that has impacted families worldwide. This makes it particularly challenging for parents to “be there” emotionally for their children. Furthermore, everyone is unique in their ability to process and deal with trauma.
PTSD is a serious disorder that increases the likelihood of suicide or intentional self-harm, and there has been an increase of suicide among children since the recent global shutdown. Over the course of a lifetime, the odds of suffering from PTSD are roughly 1 in 12. The COVID-19 Pandemic, however, will likely increase those odds over a lifetime. Although common, PTSD is a serious a psychiatric condition and its severity varies dramatically.
PTSD is most commonly associated with soldiers.
Common Symptoms of PTSD
1. Overly intense negative feelings associated with a past traumatic event.
It’s natural to squirm a little bit when you relive bad experiences in your mind. However, we’re talking about something on a totally different level with PTSD.
● The negative feelings are very intense. This is the type of fear and discomfort that can alter your day to day life.
2. Nightmares of the traumatic event.
Recurring nightmares are common in those with PTSD. Most often, the nightmares are about the traumatic event. But, the content of the dream can be unrelated to the original subject matter. These unrelated nightmares seem to be more common in children with PTSD.
3. Difficulty creating or maintaining relationships.
Relationships can be especially challenging for those with PTSD. PTSD sufferers tend to keep their struggles to themselves, but their pain is often obvious to others. There is a disconnection from other people.
4. Flashbacks that feel like the event is happening all over again.
Not everyone with PTSD has flashbacks, but they aren’t uncommon. Flashbacks have been described as a dream that happens while you’re awake. They can be extremely vivid and can even include olfactory and auditory hallucinations, too.
5. Persistent, negative thoughts about the world, other people, or yourself.
Everyone has an off day now and then, but those with PTSD frequently have negative thoughts that invade every part of their life.
6. Lack of interest in normally pleasurable activities.
For example, if you used to love to play golf, checkers, or watch romantic comedies, but you can’t enjoy them after suffering a traumatic event, you might have PTSD.
7. Hyper-vigilance.
Imagine walking down a dark alley in a bad part of town, late at night. You’d be hyper-vigilant. That’s a normal reaction, but if you’re hyper-vigilant while watching TV on the couch in your own home, you might be dealing with PTSD.
8. Guilt or shame.
PTSD sufferers often feel guilt or shame for surviving a traumatic event that left others dead or seriously hurt. Soldiers and law enforcement officers often feel guilt or shame for people they may have had to harm in the line of duty.
9. Self-destructive behavior.
Substance abuse, self-harming, and other self-destructive behaviors occur with high frequency in those with PTSD. Reckless behavior can be a sign of PTSD.
10. Difficulty concentrating.
As you can imagine, all of these symptoms can make concentration very challenging. PTSD sufferers often complain of issues with focus and concentration.
Anyone suffering from PTSD would be wise to seek professional help.
PTSD is compounded when families experience trauma
PTSD is a serious psychiatric condition with the potential to have serious consequences on one’s quality of life. It is a common condition that, generally, affects over 8% of the population over the course of a lifetime. In the advent of the COVID-19 Pandemic, expect that number to rise. PTSD can make it challenging to work, sleep, maintain a relationship, or to enjoy life. In serious cases, it can lead to suicide.
The COVID-19 induced PTSD, holistic approaches help alleviate the pressure on you to help you deal with your own trauma when you might be emotionally unavailable to your children. This would include talk therapy, massages, acupuncture, and riekki, as well as maintaining a healthy diet, staying hydrated, exercising and getting adequate sleep.
For school children and adolescents, the cooperative model of psychological services offers support that involves the social, school and family systems. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) offers guidance for coping while challenges based on a child’s age range.
While PTSD is most commonly associated with soldiers, anyone can suffer from PTSD. Bullying experiences, abuse, and violence in general are a few of the other causes of PTSD. Anyone suffering from PTSD would be wise to seek professional help.
Does this blog resonate with you?
Only a qualified medical provider can diagnose PTSD. If you have any of the above signs and symptoms, contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) here, or call 800.950.NAMI (6264).
Learn more about COVID-related stress in children.
In Recognition of Global Day of Parents
The Backstory
The Global Day of Parents has its origins in 1930 Korea, where some Christian communities in Korea began celebrating Mother’s Day. Subsequently in 1956, The State Council of South Korea declared May 8 as Mother’s Day which eventually became as Parents Day and is a national holiday. Fast forward to 1994 USA, when President Bill Clinton signed a Congressional Resolution into law for supporting, uplifting and recognizing the role of parents for nurturing children. As a result, the fourth Sunday of July of every year was declared as a parents day holiday. Then in 2012, the United Nations designated June 1st as Global Day of Parents, a.k.a. World Day of Parents, to honor parents throughout the world. The purpose is to the sacrifices and affections of parents, grand parents and even great grandparents have towards their children. The day aims to reinforce of the importance of parenthood as parents are children’s first teachers and initial source of human interaction. The day is observed with program that promote the stability of nuclear families.
A Tribute to My Parents
(Portions of this tribute are taken from my speech Through the Eyes of a Child)
The Nurturer and The Provider
Although things fell apart during my senior year of high school, their example showed me the benefits of coming from a traditional family household, especially during a child’s formative years. Seeing them separated taught me that: 1. it is important to acknowledge and work though the challenge of whatever particular family dysfunction we are given; 2. who you choose as a spouse is something not to be taken lightly; 3. children need both parents in their lives.
The Nurturer
I was born at the dawn of the Civil Rights Movement in the year of Emmitt Till’s death and three weeks after Rosa Parks’ arrest. By the time Martin Luther King, Jr. rose to prominence, my parents had established themselves in El Barrio where my earliest memories began. In those days, El Barrio was much more diverse than I believe it is today. My mother, who was a housewife, would help me to conduct experiments with my little chemistry set, taught me botany using kidney beans to illustrate the growth process of plants, how to sew - to keep me out of her way while she was sewing, took me on trips to the local library, and to the Museum of the City of New York where I was always fascinated with the giant dollhouse display.
I remember how patient she was when she taught me how to write the alphabet. The perfectionist in me would get so frustrated and ready to throw a tantrum when I made a mistake. She showed me how to learn from those mistakes and rhythmically recited the movements that I should make as I moved my pencil across the paper, “Down and around and across” as she showed me how to make the first letter of my name. Her tone said, “see how easy this is?” And I was encouraged. Suddenly, it was easy! She stood tall back then. Looking up to her with adoration, I saw her as second only to God. Back then, at 5 feet, if that, she towered over me. Now it's the other way around, except that I still see her as second only to God.
The Provider
I’ll always remember how my father’s body trembled with emotion when he said those words. The emphasis that he placed on “black”communicated two things: 1. something was amiss; 2. I had better adapt, but to what I had no clue. All I knew was there was a concept of categorizing people by color which led me to a new dilemma: If I’m black and Andy is white, what does that make Judy? Even though it is always there, nothing raises people’s consciousness of their connectedness to one another than disaster and tragedy such as Katrina, 9.11, and The Insurrection. I believe that children, because of their inability to articulate like adults, have a heightened sense of connectedness. With my ability to reason in only concrete terms, I sought an appropriate color designation for Judy. So at five years old, I concluded, based on my father’s logic, that Puerto Ricans were the grey people.
Unbeknownst to me at the time, my father, who held an MBA in finance, could not get a job on Wall Street. When he showed up for interviews, security would show him the service entrance. When he landed a job at a major department store, he endured the humiliation of people coning to see the black man - if he was even referred to as such - who had an MBA and worked as a clerk. He left that job, worked in government, and eventually used his degree by serving the El Barrio community as a civic leader.
With the Civil Rights Movement as backdrop, my father protected us from the indignities that black Americans suffered by maintaining:
the strength to refrain from making disparaging remarks about people of other races;
the expectation that we excel in school and by providing positive black role models to show us the possibilities for our futures in the form of our music teacher, our pediatrician and family physicians, and by chairing strategy meetings in our home with other community leaders;
by providing a stable home life that gave me a sense of security in the knowledge that my mother, who hosted those strategy meetings and assisted my father with speech writing, was home while I was at school and when I returned.
The Top 8 Things You Can Learn From Your Children
A young boy teaches his grandmother how to use a gaming console while his mother looks on.
Do you think you're smarter than your kids? Do you believe they can learn a lot from you, but they have nothing to teach you? Your kids have a ton to teach you. In fact, many of the negative issues in your life could be resolved by adopting the attitude and perspective of a child. Are you willing to learn from a child?
Children have a lot to teach adults:
1. Your children can teach you how to forgive.
Children are excellent at forgiving quickly and easily. A child can forgive another child within a minute. How long does it take you to completely forgive a peer?
2. How to make better use of your imagination.
Children can invent a game with a pile of dirt, a stick, and bubblegum wrapper. The average adult isn't creative enough anymore to figure out how to get the last of the peanut butter out of the bottom of the jar.
* We live in a time of unlimited information, but little inspiration. The days of knowing more than others are largely gone. The real power lies in discovering new ways of using that information.
3. Children are more present than adults.
If a child is participating in an activity, their mind is focused on that activity. Adults can rarely keep their minds contained. They might be watching a movie, but thinking about work, or wondering how much the electric bill will be this month.
* Children are imaginative, but their minds are rooted in the present moment. They spend little time thinking about the past or the future. Adults would be wise to follow suit.
4. Spontaneity.
Have you ever heard a kid planning out their day or week? It's doubtful. They think of something to do and then do it until it isn't fun any longer. Adults do need to make plans, but a little spontaneity would be a great thing for most adults. Life presents many opportunities spontaneously. Many of them won't wait for you to make plans.
5. Kids have open minds.
They generally make their decisions based upon their own personal experiences, which are few.
* Adults, however, are influenced by the opinions of others, the media, second-hand information, and learned biases. Adults have judgments about everything, even those things they know little to nothing about.
6. Enthusiasm.
A trip to the park or to McDonald's is enough to get any child excited. It takes little to make a child's day. It takes a lot to get a rise out of the average adult. Children don't resist life to the same extent adults do. Lower your defenses and feel some enthusiasm for life.
7. Curiosity.
Children are curious by nature, and they investigate the things that make them curious. They constantly ask questions about how things work or why things are the way they are. What have you learned in the last week? The last year?
8. Maintain your social circle.
Children stay in contact with their friends, spend time with them, and make new friends on a regular basis. Adult often limit their social activity to spending lunch with a coworker. Maintain a social life.
Children know many things that adults have forgotten over the years. The tendency to enjoy life, feel enthusiasm, and maintain social relationships is stronger in children than adults. Consider approaching life more like a child. You can learn a lot from your kids!
Reflection
What did you unexpectedly learn from your child or your children?
Plan Nature Outings Your Children Will Love
Nature outings are an ideal way to spend time together as a family and help your children develop an appreciation for the natural world. No matter where you live or the ages of your children, there are several great ways to connect with nature and each other as a family.
Nature Outings Close to Home
Play in your own backyard.
There are many things to observe right in your own backyard. Install a bird-feeder and learn to identify different species and their habits. Use a rainy day to teach your children about the water cycle. Camp out by pitching a tent.
2. Get to know your neighborhood.
A routine walk can be transformed into an expedition if you get some guidebooks to your local plant and wildlife. Learn to identify various trees and observe seasonal changes. Identifying so-called weeds is a good way of teaching your children about vegetation indigenous to the area, while are giving them botany lessons.
3. Visit local parks and other attractions.
There are opportunities in every community to visit zoo, parks, and other nature preserves, whether you live in the country or the city. Plan trips to the closest beach or lake. Go online to find children's programs at your local park or natural history museum.
Nature Outings Away From Home
1. Explore state and national parks.
Camping in state parks is a great bargain for family travel. Check out the Junior Ranger program at the National Park Service. Children can earn badges for all kinds of educational tasks.
2. Plan outdoor activities at your vacation destination.
Be sure to include some outdoor recreation activities wherever you go for vacation. If you're visiting relatives far away, get familiar with the facts about their region and use them to teach your children about ecological diversity.
3. Send your child to summer camp.
Summer camp can be an enriching experience for youngsters with opportunities to learn new things and make new friends. The American Camp Association can help you find an accredited program to match your child's needs.
Planning Nature Outings for Babies and Younger Children
1. Introduce your baby to nature.
It's never too early to get started. Listen to bird songs with your baby. Admire colorful flowers along with your infant.
2. Read guidebooks and maps together.
Make guidebooks and maps part of your family reading. You can point to pictures of animals and plants and repeat the names together with smaller children. As your child gets older, let them pick out their own books and read passages to you.
3. Keep a journal.
Get your child a journal with blank pages. They can record their nature observations and make sketches. It will be fun for them to see their progress over time, and it will help keep them motivated.
4. Start a collection.
Invite your child to bring back trophies from your outings, such as interesting stones and seashells. Give them an inexpensive camera so they can take their own pictures.
5. Include the family pet.
Domestic animals can help teach your children about other species and the role of instinct in animal behavior. Pay attention to what your dog is doing. Discuss how to tell a dog's mood by the position of his ears and tail.
6. Relax and have fun.
Keep your outings enjoyable. Adapt your activities to your child's attention span. Use their interests to suggest new topics to explore.
Planning Nature Outings for Older Children and Teens
1. Invite them to lead.
Give older youths the opportunity to take the lead. By instructing younger children, they can be positive role models and develop a sense of accomplishment.
2. Include their peers.
As your child grows older, they'll be more focused on socializing with peers. Talk with their teachers about organizing an outing at their school. Let them invite a friend along when your family goes kayaking.
3. Encourage their interests.
This is how you use your children’s interests to your advantage, and the easiest way to get them to learn. Support your children's emerging interests. For example, if they get excited about solar energy, take them to a local university lecture on the subject.
Nature outings can help you raise healthier children who appreciate and respect the environment. Enjoy your time together and celebrate the natural wonders that are present in every community.
Reflection
Are you a nature lover? If so, how do you share that love with your children? If not, which from the above list would you try with your child or children to expand your own horizons?
Top 10 Life Lessons to Teach Your Child
The best time to learn life lessons is in childhood, before poor habits are developed. Now is the perfect time to teach your children essential truths that lead to a happy and successful life.
Consider the things you wish your parents had taught you when you were younger. How would your life differ from today? What can you teach your child that will help them for the rest of their lives?
Teach your child how to happy and successful:
1. Be a good winner and a good loser.
Everyone wins and loses. It's important to do both well. Those that win and lose poorly struggle later in life. The winning and losing never stop. It makes life easier when you learn how to do both gracefully at an early age.
2. Learn to finish things.
Teach your child to follow through to completion. It doesn't matter if the task is cleaning their room, raking leaves, or playing a game. Adults with the habit of leaving things undone lead chaotic lives. Finish and then move on to the next task.
3. Tell the truth.
Lying is another bad habit. It might feel like a viable solution in the short-term, but it fails in the long-term. Lying is a crutch that creates greater challenges and unnecessary drama. Telling the truth is easier on many levels.
4. It's okay to fail.
Failure is one of the most efficient ways to learn. You make an attempt, come up short, and readjust your approach. Children that are afraid of failing are stifled as adults. Life is too short to hide from every opportunity that might result in a failure.
5. Persistence wins.
The person who never quits always seems to win in the long-term.
6. Have goals.
A child's goal might be to get an A on a test or be nice to his sister for the rest of the evening. Having an intention leads to success. Without goals, we're at risk of wandering aimlessly through life. Ask your child what they want to accomplish today and help them understand how they can achieve it.
7. Say please and thank you.
Everyone is worthy of a certain amount of respect. Saying please and thank you regularly is one way of demonstrating that respect.
8. Success requires work.
Success at school, sports, work, family life, and relationships require work. Nothing is automatic. A little effort each day is necessary for success in any part of life.
9. Eat well and exercise regularly.
Imagine how much better you'd feel if you had spent the last 20 years eating well and exercising consistently. Habits developed in childhood can last a lifetime. Give your child a fighting chance to avoid obesity and the associated health issues.
10. Save your money.
If everyone consistently saved 15% of their paycheck, 95% of the financial challenges people face could be avoided or easily eliminated. How much could you have saved since you started working? Force your child to save a portion of any money they receive and explain why it's important.
Even if your child is still young, there is much you can teach them. Children trust their parents. There's never going to be a better time to impart these lessons to your child. Consider what everyone needs to know in order to be successful and live an enjoyable life. Begin teaching your child today.
Learn more about the top 10 skills children need for success.
5 Ways to Help Your Children Set and Achieve Their Goals
We all have things we would like to accomplish in our lifetime. Often, these aspirations are dismissed as unrealistic or outside the realm of possibility. This is particularly discouraging when children are met with criticism. But you can show them how to accomplish anything they believe in. With the right attitude, you can help them make their dreams come true and experience the fulfilling life they were born to live.
With time and dedication, you can guide your children in finding a way to get to where they deserve to be!
Use these five strategies to set them on the path that leads to success:
1. Write it Down.
Your children can achieve great things if you instill in them to put their minds to it. But unless they write it down, their goals will remain wishful thinking.
* Having them write down their goals helps them to crystallize their thinking. Instead of vague generalizations, they'll set their goals with clear objectives and, with your guidance, an understanding of the direction they must head in order to experience the realization of those goals.
2. Focus on Actions,
Instead of Results. Show them that they can control the actions they take on the path to their goals. When they focus on their actions, they will learn that the results will take care of themselves. When they do, they'll feel less pressure along the way because their focus will be on things they can control.
* Help them break the goal down into small steps. This series of steps will serve as their roadmap. It will encourage them to keep putting one foot in front of the other and to notice what's working and what isn’t is part as of the learning process. It is important for you to encourage them to continue moving forward and refuse to give up, so that they will reach the finish line. This practical experience will give them a transferable skill to apply in realizing future goals.
3. Be Consistent.
Once they have a roadmap in place, encourage them to consistently take action in the direction of their dreams. Things likely won't go exactly as they've planned, but let them know that adjusting their plans as they take action and give them feedback on their progress.
* Whenever they set a goal, help them take one small step toward its fulfillment. That way, when they leave a goal setting session with you, they've already made some progress. This will motivate them to continue.
* Even if they're unsure how to proceed toward the result they're after, encourage them to get started on the path to that goal anyway. Help them determine the first step they need to take, and have them take it. Once that's done, ask then what they think the next step should be, and have them do it! Keep it simple, and show them how to keep taking one step at a time until their goal is achieved. You're their coach on this journey and along the way, you are strengthening the bond between you.
4. Teach Them to Learn from Their Setbacks While Achieving Their Goals.
There's an old saying that claims that nothing worth having ever comes easy. When you pursue anything that's worthwhile, you're sure to experience setbacks. Experiencing setbacks while realizing goals is inevitable. When your children are faced with setbacks, use these opportunities as teaching moments. This way, they’ll learn that it’s how they treat the setbacks that will determine whether they succeed or fail. Teach them to embrace learning from these experiences and to welcome them as course corrections toward their inevitable success.
5. Celebrating Success Along the Way.
When things go their way, celebrate with them. Every day, have them visualize what success will feel like and celebrate their inevitable victory. Treat them to a reward when they overcome challenging obstacles. Remember that success is a journey to be savored and not simply a destination to be reached.
You have a greater capacity for insuring your children’s success than you might realize. Within you is everything you need to help your children realize the dreams that are in their hearts. Incorporate these five steps into the pursuit of positioning your children for success and fulfillment!
Learn the executive skills employers find more valuable than grades, technical skills or recommendations.
6 Tips for Teaching Your Young Children About Money
Did you know that children can benefit from finance education at an early age? A study from the University of Cambridge, “Habit Formation and Learning in Young Children,” your 7 year-old has already formed habits about money. According to the researchers, it’s important to begin teaching your little ones financial literacy by age 3. Why? Because they pick up money habits quickly, so giving them the right direction is crucial. Here are six tips you can use.
Turn any room into a make shift supermarket and let your children role play. this will give them a basic introduction to commerce.
Start with basic currency literacy.
Did you know that your 3 year-old can recognize and remember coins?
You can educate your children about the different coins and dollar bills. Have them match pictures of coins with the actual coins. Although children can do this at age three, remember to watch them carefully or they might swallow them. During vacations abroad, consider teaching them about foreign currencies. This will expand their minds and help them learn more about the countries you’re visiting.
When you teach your children how to manage money, you give them a valuable skill for life.
Create money jars.
Money jars are a fun and easy way to educate your child. Create three types of money jars: one for spending; one for saving; one for giving. These three jars cover the basic lessons of understanding how to use money. One financial literacy teacher I know, recommends four jars: one for long-term goals. I say she’s on to something. Learn more about her work here. Teach your children how to use the jars and why they’re important. Have them separate money they receive as birthday gifts or allowance payments among the jars. Your children will learn how to save for the future which will teach them delayed gratification. Use the giving jar for charities. Your children will learn about giving and understand how they can help others with their money. When they donate the money to local animal shelters, food pantries, or not-for-profit that reflect their particular interest, they make a connection between their interest and how to apply it to helping others.
Help your children do the math in calculating how much money they are saving by using coupons. Let them use the savings to replenish those money jars.
Use coupons.
Using coupons can give your children an important lesson on saving. Have them cut or tear out coupons with help from your children and leave them in charge of handling the papers at the store. According to the Children's Financial Network, kids as young as 5 can benefit from learning how to use coupons in a store. They will see how to save money and make wiser shopping decisions.
Teaching your children money management skills early helps them to develop healthy relationships with money.
Set a money goal.
Children can set a money goal to purchase a favorite toy or other item. Money goals are an easy way to teach children financial patience and delayed gratification. The sooner they experience delayed gratification, the sooner they will benefit from it. Besides, it also provides a lesson in how to save money. It’s important to set realistic goals to accommodate age-appropriate attention spans so children will be motivated to stay on a savings plan. If the toy they want is expensive, it can take a while to reach their goals. Will they stay interested? Picking smaller and less expensive targets is better, especially for the smallest children.
Knowing how to comparison shop is another skill that would help your children.
Go shopping.
Let your children use their spend jars at the store to make purchases. Shopping provides an easy lesson setting. How will your children spend their money? Will they use their entire jars at one store or spread them out over many shopping trips? What teachable moment could be drawn from their experience? An outing to the local toy store also gives you the chance to discuss comparison shopping. Point out different prices on similar items and teach your children about finding inexpensive options. Evaluating the results of the shopping trip will help them understand their choices.
Yard sales give your older children an opportunity to practice the art of negotiation.
Use yard sales.
Yard sales offer another way to educate children about finances. Yard sales can help you clean out your children’s rooms and teach them about money at the same time. Ask your children if they want to participate in the yard sale by selling their old toys or clothes. Help them select items they no longer use and find appropriate prices for them. They can use the experience to refill their money jars. Older children can help sell items at the sale. They can keep track of change and watch customers. This is also a valuable opportunity to learn about price negotiations with customers.
Begin your children’s financial education before they are in school. It’s important for them to understand basic money rules and form the right habits.
Learn more about money mindset for minors.
Tapping Into Your Imagination and Releasing Your Creative Genius
You have a powerful imagination even if you don’t realize it. Your brain is able to generate some great ideas. Exercising the imagination is not a preoccupation reserved for children. Just like working out helps you maintain your physical health, the imagination helps you keep your brain healthy.
While your imagination is always available, it’s not always at its best. Your busy schedule with work, home, family might dominate your time. Like making time to go to the gym, making time to exercise your mind is just as important. It’s necessary to use it and feed it to keep it sharp. With a little work, your imagination will serve you well.
Who couldn’t use a great idea or two?
Try these techniques to release your creative genius:
1. Spend more time alone.
The most creative people also tend to be those who spend the most time alone, even if it means hiding away for 15 to 30 minutes. Your imagination can run free when you’re alone. People are distracting.
2. Set aside time to be creative.
Creativity and your imagination go hand in hand. Set aside some time each day to be creative. Your imagination will benefit, too.
The more you grow your creativity, the more your imagination will grow, and vice-versa.
3. Set aside time to visualize.
Practice visualizing each day. Visualize things you know. Visualize things that don’t exist. Really stretch your ability to see things in your mind. Here are two exercises to get you started:
Close your eyes and imagine a piece of fruit in your hand. Describe in detail what it looks like, how it feels in your hand, and how it smells. Now, take a bite and describe the taste.
Visualize yourself in a pleasant environment, perhaps the beach. Fully experience being in that place. What do you see, hear, smell, and feel? How real does it feel to you?
4. Allow yourself to daydream every day.
Allow your creativity to run wild. Daydream for at least a few minutes each day. Just see where your imagination takes you.
Avoid the temptation to steer your daydream in a particular direction.
5. Create something from your imagination.
Use your imagination to build something.
Suppose you wanted to build a birdhouse. Imagine every aspect of it in your mind. Decide on the dimensions without using a ruler. Plan out every aspect of it and then actually build it. Use only your memory and the necessary tools when it comes time to build. Evaluate how you did.
Remember: Thoughts are things.
6. Explore various creative avenues.
If you love to draw, draw. But you’ll become better at drawing if you try your hand at painting, sculpture, or music. Branch out a little bit and your ability to imagine new things will grow.
7. Withhold judgement.
Judgment blocks creativity. If you fear being judged, your ability to imagine and create is greatly stifled. The surest way to worry about other people judging you is to be judgmental of others. Worrying about what others think also undermines success in all endeavors.
Also, avoid judging the ideas of your imagination. Allow them to take their final form before you critique them.
8. Travel.
New places lead to new thoughts and creations. The number and quality of ideas you generate is limited if you spend all of your time in the same 50-mile radius. Expand your horizons and get out of town, or better yet, out of the country. There is value in moving beyond your comfort zone. Take advantage of the tip below in your travels and in your local community.
9. Spend time with new people.
The same goes for spending time with a wide variety of people. Meeting new people will lead to new thoughts and ideas. The enrichment you’ll get could be.
Provide your imagination with the fuel it needs to expand. Give it a workout each day. These two simple ideas are all you need to get a lot more from your imagination. New people, places, and creative experiences will give your imagination more to work with.
Using your imagination regularly will improve its performance and ability to communicate with you. Your imagination is a tool that’s too powerful to waste. Start using it today!
Learn how daydreaming leads to creativity and success.